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today started with a lengthy phone call from Josiah. slept in wayyy too late, got ready for my grandma’s and my sister-in-law’s parties, and ate a lot of food and had a lot of fun! it was strange how they connected. there were some people at my grandma’s party who watched me grow up from age 6/7. and Carmina turned 18; the end point of “growing up”. i’m also really emotional right now and all i want to do is cry. today was a good day, but the things that have been bothering me lately made me really upset today. i just…i don’t know. i don’t know. i’m so tired. 

56

today started with a lengthy phone call from Josiah. slept in wayyy too late, got ready for my grandma’s and my sister-in-law’s parties, and ate a lot of food and had a lot of fun! it was strange how they connected. there were some people at my grandma’s party who watched me grow up from age 6/7. and Carmina turned 18; the end point of “growing up”. i’m also really emotional right now and all i want to do is cry. today was a good day, but the things that have been bothering me lately made me really upset today. i just…i don’t know. i don’t know. i’m so tired.